Guest post - Laid-off after 15 years

This post comes from my girlfriend. After 15 years with the same company she was given her notice. Here's how she copes with job-loss


Laid-off after 15 years
Today was a day of mixed feelings. Actually lately there have been lots of mixed feelings. It started with being laid off, than apprehension, then job interviews, then waiting for responses, then being rejected… again… and being wanted… again.

The outplacement officer told me that I was going to go thru a series of different emotions as part of the lay off process – sadness, anger, frustration, rejection and so on. I went through most of them, except anger.

The hardest part about being laid-off was to cut the connection to that company that had been part of my life for the last 15 years. Not long ago I even said to a friend that “work was the only secure thing I had”. How could I deal with the most secure thing not been there for me anymore?

The idea that I was not wanted, or that I would not be part of the plans for the company’s future, was hard to accept. Luckily I had a very candid conversation with my future ex-boss, talked about the feeling of rejection, of having the feeling the company didn’t try to find a fit for me in its new structure, and then understanding that my salary was a problem – it was not me, but how much I meant to the company, literally. Digesting all that, and lots of tears later, the sadness was then overcome by a sense of relieve.

The last day in the office was difficult, but a lot easier than the anticipation and the feeling that something that was long overdue was finally over. I started to think that, other than the rejection feeling, it bothered me that someone was making decisions for me, big decisions! How could I not have control over what happens in my life?

Now it was time to start the hunting a job process. An interview for a position that would imply moving from Montreal to Ottawa was the first one. I had a really good vibe from the place and the people I would work with. At the same time, through a contact, another job offer seemed to be in the horizon, this one in Montreal. I was also sending out resumes, and filling out online job applications. There are tons out there, and I was feeling good.

Things were going the right way; phone conversations with both prospect bosses, second interviews, and the feeling of being wanted was in full swing. I was now wondering how to make my decision, which company to choose? Move to Ottawa and change it all or stay in Montreal? I decided making a list of pros and cons from both companies could be the best way to choose.
As it turns out, I didn’t need to make the list, the company in Ottawa doesn’t want me. Part of me was relieved as I would not need to make a decision; once again a decision was made for me! However, part of me was afraid: what if the other job does not turn into a job offer either? It was a bit scary. I started another ‘Plan B’; follow-up with some of my previous contacts, make new contacts, check out job postings. Before I was able to start putting Plan B in action, an email confirmed that I will be receiving an offer from the Montreal Company.

The fear felt from the phone call from the Ottawa Company advising I was not the one chosen was gone the moment I accessed my email. I know now that I will get an offer, and I know the terms of that offer. However, I still wanted to know why wasn’t I selected for the Ottawa job? Well, as it turns out, once again, my salary was an issue… I was asking for more than the company was willing or could pay me.

It is very flattering to know that you are worth a lot, but it is very frustrating to know that your value can be your biggest enemy. On the bright side, I meet some new people who may be able to help me in my charitable efforts.

Mixed feelings marked the beginning of the day, mixed feelings mark the end of the day… happy as I am about to get a job, at the same time I’m sad that I was not the one making the decision to which company I would like to work.

If I can take a lesson from today it would be how to deal with the fact that I can’t have control over my life all the time… sometimes other people will make decisions for me, and there isn’t much I can do about it.